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FEBRUARY 2012 - ISSUE 104

In this issue:
LOVE IS LIKE A ROCK
BIKINI CONTEST
MS. UNIVERSE CONTEST
WET WORK
EVENTS CALENDAR
TOO MUCH PUSSY
TREASURE CHEST
. . . AND MORE!

Love Is Like A Rock . . .
A rock that falls on your head . . . With St. Valentines Day approaching, all Pirates start wondering if they will ever find the love of their life . . . The Crew here knows how tough it is in the real world . . . meeting someone who will set your heart on fire . . . but not set fire to your car, house or boat . . . That special someone you want to see the morning after not someone you hope doesn't wake up when you sneak out of the house at 4am . . . Always seems to be a "Between a rock and a hard place" song and dance . . . AAARRRGGGGHHH . . .

We can't promise you a lifetime of love (although it does happen pretty frequently here) . . . BUT we can promise you a few days of true romance that you can take home and use as a baseline to compare your future prospects . . .

So - consider your voyage a Human Behavioral project and you are conducting some . . . field research . . . So To Speak . . . Hell - You might even be able to write it off as a business expense . . . and if you can't . . . so what - it will still be the best "bang" you ever got for your buck . . .

"That We Can Promise!" . . .

Show Us Your Colors Night . . . Every Thursday Night . . .
If you don't know what we do on Thursday nights . . . You Should!! All of the Shipmates wear the same color and put on a special dance show in the Crows Nest Bar!! If you don't know what the Crows Nest Bar is . . . You Should!!

This is our Pirate hide out that is only open on Thu-Fri-Sat nights for many of or great events . . . Picture multi-colored wall and ceiling paint, mirrored walls, disco globe and lights and a dance pole that reached the ceiling!! Now you got the idea . . .

What are you waiting for??

Babydoll Show and Raffle - Only On Bikini Weekend Fridays
Pirates buy a ticket for a chance to win a HOT lap dance from a scantily clad HOT Shipmate. Yes, for less than $2 bucks you have a chance to create a memory that you will regale your friends with for months to come and fondly remember every time your significant other bitches at you!!

The entire night consists of Shipmates dancing in lingerie to sizzling Latin tunes . . . and all you have to do . . . is sit there with a silly grin on your face and forget about what day you have to return to the real world . . .

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH tis' a Pirates Life For Me!!!!

Bikini Contest #171 - January 28th . . . #172
Three of our wayward Pirates who had been on extended shore leave, returned and begged to be our 172nd Bikini Contest judges..So, after making them grovel and say AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH !! backwards..(Which by the way ain't easy to do) we decided to sign them up. The days are already starting to get a little longer and the temperatures range between SWEEET and OH BABY!!

The local Expat Buccaneers were in full force and we love it when they bring their wives . . . maybe their trying to get there wive's cranks turning . . . We never know who is going to show up for our Bikini Festival..It was a Pretty day with a whole boatload - SIXTEEN - Beautiful Shipmates during their best to win the contest . . .

Although, the crowd expected Johanni to win, because she put on a show that included dragging a judge in to the pool and giving him a wet lap dance, Iris was our surprise winner!!

Mardi Gras Costume Night - Only On Ms. Universe Weekend Friday Nights
20+ Shipmates in every concievable sexy costume . . . Now that we have your attention, welcome to Mari Gras Blackbeard Style!! Next time you are on board, bring down a bunch of Carnival beads and trinkets and share them with all the girls!!

Practice saying AAARRRGGGHHHHH and try your luck at dancing Dominican Style!! This night ALWAYS ends with a bang . . . one way or another!!

And, if you really want to get into the act . . . Then - get into the act!! Bring something stupid to wear and become one of the Crew!!

Ms. Universe Contests #79 - Jan 21st
Our Night Manager, Cliff, has settled into his role as emcee for our nightly events and everybody seems to think he has a great voice! The Crew is waiting to hear him say, "Come On Down . . . you are the next contestant on The Shipmates Right!"

Our SIX contestants pretty much got their sox blown off by a new Shipmate, Daniela!! She dazzled the crowd with her horizontal floor salsa dancing and if you don't know what that is . . . you should.. The night's festivities were far from over after the contest!!

Our Pirates decided to have their own dance contest and needless to say . . . there were no winners!! Sorry, Pirates just can't dance!!!

Wet Work!! . . .
Yep . . . get up about 10 am..get some FREE coffee and grab a bite to eat . . . Big fat cheesy omelet,, home fries . . . AAARRRGHHHHHH!! . . . Maybe take a stroll on the beach and get ready to go to "Work" in the afternoon.

Meet up with fellow Pirates, grab a bunch of Bikini Clad Shipmates and hit our tropical pool for some serious Pool Volleyball!!!

"Yea Baby!!! Work it . . . Work it Hard!! Feel the Burn!!! "Beer Please!" . . . ARRRGGGHHHHH!"!

"Yo Ho . . . Yo Ho . . . A Pirates Life For Me" . . .
One thing we take for granted aboard the SS Blackbeard is that most of the scallywags that make a reservation . . . have already been here before . . . sometimes we forget there are a bunch of Pirate wannabe's out there that can look at the photos but have not . . . "wet their whistle yet" . . . So To Speak . . . SO - here is what you should do -

• Review our entire website and say . . . "What The F? Where are the Shipmate pics and their rate info??"

• Send us an email and ask us all of your questions - don't be shy we have heard them all . . . and . . . we don't like timid Pirate wanna bees anyway. This is when you ask for the Shipmate info and pics.

• Decide when you want to find a life and make a reservation.

• Sail with us and find yourself . . .

There you have it . . . In a "Nuts" Shell . . . So To Speak . . .

CHECK OUT OUR NEW “SPECIAL EVENTS CALENDARS” ON OUR WEB SITE TO PLAN YOUR NEXT TRIP ABOARD

Weekend Event Dates
Bikini Contest Weekends
February 11th and 25th
March 10th and 24th
April 7th and 21st
May 5th and 19th
June 2nd, 16th and 30th
July 14th and 28th
August 11th and 24th

Ms. Universe Contest Weekends
February 4th and 18th
March 3rd, 17th and 31st
April 14th and 28th
May 12th and 26th
June 9th and 23rd
July 7th and 21st

+++We are currently taking reservation through AUGUST 2012+++

Availability - Hot Tips!!!
February/March - Shaping up to be busy..busy!! Several weekends are already full . . . so get off your butt and check on availability!!

Call us if you need a room in the next couple of weeks 809-970-3268.

April - Still good availability the first three weekends.

Shake and Rattle . . . No Roll Though . . .
The island of Hispaniola is famous for it's earthquakes . . . Hell, we probably get as many as Northern California . . . The locals are pretty use to the ground giving a little grunt once in awhile . . . and The Crew loves it when this happens - because inevitably some Pirate sitting at the bar will say, "Whooo . . . I gotta lay off the Tequila!" When the bartender says, "Terre Motto, Senor." The Pirate usually says . . . "No Shit . . . Well - Gimme me another shot then!"

Happy Birthday To . . . Me!!! . . .
One of our notorious Pirates decided to go all out and throw himself a birthday party . . . He wanted a cake . . . check. He wanted 20 Shipmates to help celebrate . . . check.

The Crew never thought about it - but why not throw your own party?? Hell, you get exactly what and who you want . . . You decide when the party starts and when it ends and . . . nobody needs to know how old you are . . . AND you can buy your own present . . .

"Hey, its exactly what I wanted!!"

Shipmate Book Returns!!
Years ago, we had what was called the "BLBB" (Blackbeard's Little Black Book).

The book had all of our Shipmates photos and was available for any Pirate that wanted to look at our "Horizontal Menu" . . . So To Speak . . .

Some time ago, this was replaced by our Shipmate Board in the Main Bar. Anybody sitting at the Drunken' Parrot Bar could just glance over and see what Shipmates were currently on the Ship's Roster.

Well, keeping the board clean and free of PIRATE FREAKIN' FINGERPRINTS was becoming a pain in the stern . . . So - El Capitan decided to go back . . . to what worked before . . . "The Book".

So - Next time you are on board just ask our Mamasans and they will be glad to let you take a "Crack" at the BLBB . . . enough said . . . So To Speak . . .

(IN) Famous Pirate Wall Update . . .
We started putting our regular deadbeat Pirate photos up in our lobby some time ago . . . Well, now we have 85 photos up and we had to start putting them up in the pool room as well . . . The Crew told the skipper we might run out of room . . . (probably not the smartest thing to spontaneously tell El" Capitan) . . . "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH . . . keep hanging my Pirates . . . errr ahhhhh on the walls that ‘tis . . . If need be, we will find space elsewhere . . . no worries!!" . . .

Now, you might ask how you qualify to get your mug hung?? First qualification is you have to be a regular Pirate and the 2nd . . . We have to like you . . . That simply requires you to abide our Pirates Code and don't bother us with lame ass questions . . . There you have it . . . Now, don't bother us . . .

Blanco's Kids Orphanage . . . El Capitan's Charity . . .
Our community holds an annual Beach Olympics to raise money for the orphanage, but we got rained out on Sunday. So we will provide get some pictures and news to you in our next edition.

As always - thanks for your help with your donations and kindness. El Capitan had a chance to visit the orphanage before he went on shore leave so we have a few new pictures for you . . . THANKS AGAIN!!!

Tooo Much Pussy!
Well it seems that our two resident felines, Moses and Pirata, have come under attack from the local stray cat populace . . . Their food dish is out by the kitchen and not a day goes by where the Crew doesn't see a whole passel of pussys bellying up to the trough.

Moses is getting too old to defend his territory and Pirata just seems to like all the cat company. We are gonna try and teach Pirata a little defensive tactics . . . but, he really just doesn't give a shit because he gets his fill . . . first.

From The Treasure Chest
An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

After a while the young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.

"What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?

The old captain replied, "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

****AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH - Hope To See You Soon!!*****

And Remember . . .

We Promise . . . One Voyage . . . and you will be Hooked!